Tag Archives: The Desire Map

Boundaries Are Super Important

I used to be a ‘YES’ person and I always put the needs of pretty much everyone else in front of my own.

I don’t know when it started, but when I became a mum it pretty much became second nature and I relegated myself to the bottom of the family pile. I had no boundaries in place and soon became the person who did just about everything because I couldn’t say ‘NO’.

But do you know what constantly being that kind and caring person who helps everyone else does to you if you are not careful? It makes you resentful and bitter and can leave you wondering why no-one else seems to put you first. You feel like you are being walked all over and to be honest you pretty much are being, but only because you have let it happen.

It’s a weird kind of logic and it can well and truly suck you in if you let it. Trust me, I know because that’s exactly where I was heading before I decided to put myself first and practice some real self-care.

So, how did I stop being a doormat and start to find my own inner strength?

Initially I had to get clear on how I wanted to feel and what was important to me. This process was made much simpler by The Desire Map and coming up with a list of my core desired feelings. Once I got clear on HOW I wanted to feel every day, it was easy to filter requests through those feelings and decide whether or not they were right for me.

At the beginning I simply said ‘NO’ a little more. If something felt like it wasn’t in my best interests or the request was just because it had always been easier to ask me to do something than to do it themselves (and don’t we all know people like that!), then I stopped and made a real effort to trust myself and my own feelings.

Surprisingly it changed the way I felt really quickly. By setting boundaries and treating myself the way that I wanted to be treated by others helped me regain my self-esteem. I knew that the things I actually said yes to were because I really wanted to and not because I was worried what other people thought of me.

The knock-on effect of all of this is that I am now inspiring others to review their own boundaries too! Just last week I received a friend request on Facebook from someone I had met in a group but not met in person. I sent a message kindly letting them know that I am happy to connect in groups and via my business page, but that my personal profile is for family and friends, and here’s the response I received:

“No problem at all, Holly. I totally admire and respect your boundaries! Thank you for letting me know. Plus you just helped me redefine some of mine thanks x”

My boundaries are set and I am happy to move and change them as circumstances and people change, but now that I follow my own intuition and filter everything through my core desired feelings and I am happier and healthier for it – and giving my children a much better example of self-care!

I hope this post encourages you to put yourself first and create your own boundaries too… keep-calm-and-set-boundaries-5 Make your own KEEP CALM poster at: http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/#create

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The 5 ‘B’s of Creating a Business with Soul

If you work for yourself, or want to, a huge part of creating a business that you love is to make sure that it mirrors how you feel on the inside, instead of being a copy of what is already ‘out there’ being done by others. Here are my five steps to creating and running a business with soul:

1. Find your BUZZ

THE fundamental part of running a business that you are passionate about is finding your buzz – that thing that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning. Something that makes you excited and often doesn’t feel like work. If you have no idea what this is, then you can start by thinking about any recurring themes throughout your working life, or that you are drawn to in hobbies. You can also ask your family and friends to tell you what they think your best qualities are – this really does work and may give you an insight into your talents that you hadn’t even thought about before.  You could also try some online tests like those available at Strength Finder and 16 Personalities. Whatever you do, take note of your buzz and create your business to incorporate it.

2. Be BRAVE

You are going to have to wear your big girl or big boy pants for this one! Being brave about what YOU want to do in your business can actually be pretty tough, especially if you want to do things differently. Everyone will have an opinion about what you ‘should’ do, why your new business may fail or why you should do it their way – being brave is important if you are going to stand up and follow through on your own plans even when family and friends think it unwise. Surrounding yourself with people who inspire you is a great way to help you stay strong in the face of skepticism.

3. BE Yourself

According to Marie Forleo, everyone has a UAP – “Unique Awesomeness Potential”! No matter what industry you work in, there are bound to be other people doing something similar to you, but as there is only one you, your business will take on your individual personality and flavour and be something unique. Use your awesomeness to create a business that really feels right for you and brings you the success you want. People buy from people and if they like you then they will stay and you will start to build a loyal customer base.

4. BELIEVE in it

Believe in your business and in yourself and others will start to believe in you too. How much you love what you are doing comes across when you talk about your business. If you hate what you do your customers will see right through you, and likewise you will almost shine if you love it. Everything is energy and believing in your business is the only way to send out positive vibes about what you are doing and also to keep your motivation going when things are less than ideal.

5. Nurture your BUBBLE

Image from The F**k It Way: https://www.facebook.com/thefkitlife

Image from The F**k It Way: https://www.facebook.com/thefkitlife

Although you are now well on the way, protecting your business (and you) from those who would wish you to fail is probably the most important part of creating a business with soul. You’ve done all the hard work setting up your business but are seldom taught how to energetically protect it or yourself. The simplest and easiest way to do this is to start every day by visualising a huge bubble of light surrounding you (and your business too if you like). Its purpose is to act as a filter to stop negative energy getting to you whilst still allowing the positive energy of well-meant advice and inspiration to reach you.

This post was inspired by my recent WiRE Network talk “Creating a Business with Soul” and is an introduction to the work I offer my clients through workshops and 1:1 mentoring sessions to find their soul purpose and create a business that nurtures them.

Weekly Words – Are you Following Your Passion?

Signs have a habit of reappearing until you really stop and take notice and my Weekly Words post two months ago was all about it. I always try to pay attention to them and since I ran my first Spirit Guide Workshop last month I have been seeing many signs about something I am doing – about following my passion.

At the workshop, I was speaking about using high vibration crystals to help you connect with your Spirit Guide when my eye was drawn to my large chunk of Obsidian sitting on a shelf on the other side of the room. I mentioned that I have been using that crystal recently, even though I consider it more of a grounding and protection stone. Then all of a sudden it hit me like a bolt from the blue (or rather a big tap on the shoulder from my Spirit Guide) – this volcanic stone is a reminder of my dream to visit Hawaii!!

PeleIt is also associated with the Hawaiian Goddess of Fire, Pele. So, as soon as I got home I found Pele’s card and was drawn to the words: “Be honest with yourself. What is your heart’s true desire.” She calls on us to listen to our dreams and invest time and money in manifesting them.

Then this week, as if to bring the point home once and for all, Doreen Virtue’s weekly card reading started with Pele’s card!

My passion is inspiring and empowering women to build amazing soul-centred businesses and lives, and by building my business around this passion, I am manifesting my own future and know that one day soon I will make it to Hawaii.

We are all being called to follow our Divine Passion; to stop doing what others want us to do or what we think we should be doing, but to find what really excites us and to put our energy and focus in to that. Give yourself permission to go out and achieve what YOU want in this life.

This week: take some time to sit quietly and reflect on your true passions. What is it that you love to do? What would you do if money was not an object? What type of work lifts your spirits and doesn’t actually feel like work at all?

Once you know the answers to these questions you can start to follow your passions and build them in to your daily life – little by little at first if that’s the time you have – but by doing something every day, you will soon look back and realise just how far you have come, and how much you enjoy what you are doing.

Have a wonderful week & let me know what your true passions are… I’d love to know!

H x

A Daily Reminder of my CDFs – on a Mug!

OK, so you have probably guessed by now that I am a card-carrying, in-it-for-life Desire Mapper?! I live my life and run my business based on my core desired feelings (CDFs) and am extremely proud to be a Desire Map Facilitator.

SnapDragon MugSo, I am always looking for ways to display my CDFs and bring them into my daily life, and when I saw Snapdragon’s ‘Words to Live By’ mug I just had to have one!

I have ordered from this lovely Scottish gift company before and have always been bowled over by their products and customer service – and this time was no different. It took just a day for my mug to be personalised and arrive at my home. Perfect timing for me to take to my very first Desire Map workshop where it was an instant hit.

The mug itself is so tactile that I never want to put it down and it has my words printed on both sides – so I get to see them as well as everyone else! I chose to have my words all printed in black, but you can choose different colours for each word if you like and you can anything from 1 and 6 words. I also personally love the fact that it is made in the UK as supporting local businesses is really important to me.

Jane, the super designer behind the Snapdragon brand has generously offered a 10% discount on this mug if you enter the code HOLLY1 at checkout. Yay! I may well have to order some for my friends now too…

Oh, and before I go, I just wanted to tell you how synchronistic this all is… I first heard about The Desire Map through Jane’s blog and it was her story about how it had helped her change the direction of her business that inspired me to buy the programme back in 2013! It has made such a huge difference in my life and I am really pleased to recommend her business and pass some of the love back.

H x

Weekly Words – Believe in Yourself

You are important.
You are incredible.
You are loved.
Your presence is needed here.
You are worthy of your desires.
~ Danielle LaPorte – The Desire Map

You are worthy of your desires.

I have this quotation stuck on the wall above my computer and it is fitting that I should share it with you today as I am preparing for my very first Desire Map Workshop this weekend. Sometimes I look at it and fully believe in myself and other times when I am not so sure this reminds me to.

We all have times when we feel unimportant, unloved or even just unsupported in our lives. Having suffered with depression myself in the past this is an all too common feeling for me, and one that I constantly battle against returning. At the moment I am winning (and have been for a good few years now) and it is quotations like this one that help remind me that I am important, incredible, loved and worthy of my desires. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have a wobble every now and again, but on the whole I look at myself and know that I am worth my space here on Earth.

The thing is, the more you believe in yourself and act in ways that reinforces that belief, the more your confidence improves and the more it becomes part of your everyday reality.

Like Attracts Like

In fact, the more I do this work, the more good comes to me. But I couldn’t do it alone. The single best thing you can do to attract more positivity and support into your life is to surround yourself with people who truly believe in you – not those who bring you down. It can be hard to begin with, but getting yourself out and meeting people who share your interests or passions is one of the best ways I know to improve your own self-belief, self-confidence and self-esteem. The more you talk to people, the more you will realise that they all have their own fears and wobbles about whether they are ‘good enough’.

So this week I am challenging you to do one thing that helps you attract more positivity into your life. It could be making a commitment to a healthy lifestyle, following a passion that you have put off for some reason or even catching up with a friend who makes you feel amazing. Whatever it is, don’t just do it once – make the effort to schedule it in regularly and you will soon see the difference it makes to your own self-belief.

Have an amazing week,

H x

Stop Complaining, Start Creating

If you have been a reader of my blog for any length of time, you will know that I am most definitely a ‘glass is always full’ (coz there’s air in there too) type of person. Except when it’s wine and I always like a bit more of that! Even when I don’t have all of my shit together, I still prefer to focus on the good stuff rather than wasting energy on the bad stuff.

Over the past few weeks I have been trying to decide whether I should sign up for Marie Forleo’s B-School this year. I have looked at it for the past 2 years and it just didn’t feel like the right time but this year, as I am also a Licensee of The Desire Map program by Danielle LaPorte and her bonuses are ENORMOUS it just seems ludicrous for me NOT to. Don’t get me wrong here – I don’t just have the money sitting around so this decision is BIG and means I will have to make some important choices to make this happen.

My gut instinct and intuition are telling me to go for it, but I have been doing a bit of research to back those feelings up. Whoa! Talk about opening a can of worms! Those who have done B-School and seen their businesses grow are glowing in their reports of the programme and are happy to share how they enjoyed it and the real advantages of doing the work. However, those who have signed up and either not done the work or not seen their business take off are really, really bitter and their complaints are extremely personal. They also seem to be joined by other people, who as far as I can tell haven’t even done the programme but are still happy to dig and complain about the cost, lack of content, Marie’s personality and even her wardrobe choices.

Now I’m not going to share where I found all the negative stuff (you can Google it easily enough) but what I am going to do is say this: STOP COMPLAINING & START CREATING!

stop comparing start creating

Time for my rant…

Maybe we won’t all be the next big thing online, but you sure as hell can’t be if all you do is post negative comments and moan about how crap everything is and how the world is against you. Try using some of that energy on developing yourself instead of hurling abuse at someone else just because they are making it happen.

Me? I prefer to think of my investment as an investment in my future. I’ve already learnt a HEAP of new stuff just watching Marie’s free videos so I know I am going to get something out of the programme. And hey, if I don’t then it will be MY problem and not hers. Seriously, if you want to go after your dreams you have to stop comparing yourself to others and seeing yourself as a victim. That is easier said than done sometimes and takes a shift in your own way of thinking and a realisation that the only person responsible for your life is YOU.

Is life always going to be easy? No. Are things always going to go your way? Maybe not. Can you be positive even when you’re being tested to your limits? YES!

Rant over!

Now, I want to leave you with something positive in my usual upbeat fashion…

Just remember that at the most fundamental level we are all just energy, and as my amazing crystal teacher always used to tell us “where thought goes, energy goes”. If you make a daily effort to be grateful for what you already have and focus on the positives in your life (no matter how small), you will attract more of the same – you really are the creator of your own reality!

Oh, and am I doing B-School this year? Hell yeah – I can’t wait!

H x

It’s not too late to set your 2015 goals!

It’s only the last week of January and already I have heard people writing off the whole of 2015 because they either haven’t stuck to their New Year Resolutions, or haven’t created a plan.

Seriously?? We’re 29 days in to a year of 365 (that’s less than 8%) and more than likely even less of the way in to the rest of your life!

So, how can you make the most of the rest of the year?

Take some time out and make a plan. Plan from the start of February or even from the start of March and the coming of Spring. It is never too late to start!

How do I do it?

Well, as you know, I am a Desire Map devotee and got in early with a review of my core desired feelings. This process helped me confirm how I wanted to feel in my life and business this year and beyond and is a great start to the planning process. Then I needed to create some “Goals with Soul” as Danielle LaPorte would say and this lead me to the website of the wonderful Leonie Dawson.  Not only is she a soul sister from my native Australia, but she swears like a trooper and takes no prisoners – I liked her style immediately!  And it was her yearly “Create your Shining Year” workbook that looked amazing.  I wanted it immediately and was drawn to it like a moth to a flame!

WorkbookEnsconsed in my warm kitchen with green tea in a favourite mug, my angel candle holder and some ‘feel good’ crystals, I got to work.  I reviewed 2014 and gave thanks for all that I have learned and achieved, and I made a plan for 2015 for both my personal and professional lives (this blog being one of the goals for my business).  The whole process took me almost 2 weeks giving time to it when I could and letting thoughts and questions process when I had other things to do.

OK, so I did this over the Christmas break, but there is nothing stopping you making February your planning month! Getting clear on how you want to feel and then planning what you want to achieve based on that is the best way of making the most of the rest of the year.

And, if you finish by the end of February you will still have 84% of the year left to implement it all! Bonus!

H x

P.S. Here are some of the resources that I use and recommend:
– The Desire Map, Danielle LaPorte
– 2015 Workbook, Leonie Dawson
– The Tip-Off Global Energy Forecast, Elizabeth Peru