Category Archives: Weekly Words

Boundaries Are Super Important

I used to be a ‘YES’ person and I always put the needs of pretty much everyone else in front of my own.

I don’t know when it started, but when I became a mum it pretty much became second nature and I relegated myself to the bottom of the family pile. I had no boundaries in place and soon became the person who did just about everything because I couldn’t say ‘NO’.

But do you know what constantly being that kind and caring person who helps everyone else does to you if you are not careful? It makes you resentful and bitter and can leave you wondering why no-one else seems to put you first. You feel like you are being walked all over and to be honest you pretty much are being, but only because you have let it happen.

It’s a weird kind of logic and it can well and truly suck you in if you let it. Trust me, I know because that’s exactly where I was heading before I decided to put myself first and practice some real self-care.

So, how did I stop being a doormat and start to find my own inner strength?

Initially I had to get clear on how I wanted to feel and what was important to me. This process was made much simpler by The Desire Map and coming up with a list of my core desired feelings. Once I got clear on HOW I wanted to feel every day, it was easy to filter requests through those feelings and decide whether or not they were right for me.

At the beginning I simply said ‘NO’ a little more. If something felt like it wasn’t in my best interests or the request was just because it had always been easier to ask me to do something than to do it themselves (and don’t we all know people like that!), then I stopped and made a real effort to trust myself and my own feelings.

Surprisingly it changed the way I felt really quickly. By setting boundaries and treating myself the way that I wanted to be treated by others helped me regain my self-esteem. I knew that the things I actually said yes to were because I really wanted to and not because I was worried what other people thought of me.

The knock-on effect of all of this is that I am now inspiring others to review their own boundaries too! Just last week I received a friend request on Facebook from someone I had met in a group but not met in person. I sent a message kindly letting them know that I am happy to connect in groups and via my business page, but that my personal profile is for family and friends, and here’s the response I received:

“No problem at all, Holly. I totally admire and respect your boundaries! Thank you for letting me know. Plus you just helped me redefine some of mine thanks x”

My boundaries are set and I am happy to move and change them as circumstances and people change, but now that I follow my own intuition and filter everything through my core desired feelings and I am happier and healthier for it – and giving my children a much better example of self-care!

I hope this post encourages you to put yourself first and create your own boundaries too… keep-calm-and-set-boundaries-5 Make your own KEEP CALM poster at: http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/#create

My Inspirational First Aid Kit

No matter how positive you are, sometimes life will still overwhelm you. This past week has been one of those for me, so I thought I would share one of the ways that I give myself a boost.

I consult my Inspirational First Aid Kit!! These are the people, pages and website that I turn to for inspiration when things start to overwhelm me or get difficult and mean that I always have something to remind me of the amazing world we live in.

My Top 8 Inspirational People

Why eight?? Why not?? Actually eight is my favourite number so it seemed appropriate, and although I have other authors, speakers and inspirational people that I follow, these eight are constantly popping up on my Facebook timeline with just the right thing at just the right time.

1. Danielle LaPorte – of course!!  As a Desire Map devotee and Licensee, Danielle’s work is top of my list when it comes to a quick pick-me-up. You can access her amazing #Truthbombs both electronically and to purchase via her website, pop over to her Facebook page for more wisdom or sign up for your daily Danielle dose via email. Now that I have my own truthbomb deck, one of these cards always makes it onto my Desk Altar too. She has some great Pinterest boards too…

Truthbomb

2. Bryant McGill/Jenni Young – I have paired these two as this real-life couple run Simple Reminders together, matching inspirational quotations with their own amazing photographs. Their Facebook page is one of my favourites or you can subscribe for a daily email and get a boost straight to your inbox. They use their own words but also those of so many other inspirational people that it is impossible not to smile when an image arrives. You can also pre-order the book before it is released in May 2015. You can never have too many books!!!

simple-reminder-believe-something-amazing-happening

3. Dr Steve Maraboli – This bloke is like a breath of fresh air and a true champion of women, amazing relationships and not settling for second best – ever. His quotations are often used by Simple Reminders (above) and you can also find gorgeous images with his words on his Pinterest boards. He is a truly gifted motivational speaker, author and behavioural scientist and watching one of his clips is a sure-fire way of lifting me out of any lull I am having.

beautiful-maraboli

4. Marie Forleo – my B-School hostess, Marie just has to be on my list too. Her motto is “change your life, change the world” and she is living proof that you can do just that. Not only is Marie TV my must watch for Q&A Tuesday but her website is full of great free content too. She’s a little different than the creators of masses of image content, and focuses on videos, but I love that angle too.

Image+by+Marie+Forleo+-+B-School

5. Oriah Mountain Dreamer – the author of my favourite poem, The Invitation, Oriah often posts her thoughts on Facebook. I keep my copy of The Invitation book close at hand and find that reading it along with the words she shares about it can be a great release – and something not online for a change!

oriah-mountain-dreamer-hearts-longing

6. Sophie Bashford – is based here in the UK and I am so inspired by her work as an Intuitive Healer as it is similar to what I do. You can sign up for her Feminine on Fire newsletter at her website and follow Sophie on Facebook for amazing intuitive insights. I can’t wait to have a reading with her – it is definitely on my list!

Sophie Bashford

7. John C. Parkin – best known along with his wife Gaia as the authors of F**k It and F**k It Therapy, their work has helped me so much in the past. You can find lots of F**k It goodies over on their website and regular ramblings on their Facebook page – including the image I used in my last Blog post (with credit given of course).

FuckIt

8. Leonie Dawson – She’s last but definitely not least! I love Leonie’s colourful website and Facebook page, especially the way she shares her behind-the-scenes shots and shows the rest of us that she is just as normal (or not) as we are (or not). I bought Leonie’s 2015 Workbook and loved the clarity it gave me for my life and business for the coming year. If you want to hear some non-sugarcoated truths, then this is the Aussie for you…

LeonieDawson

I also talk to friends and get myself out of my usual routine if things are spiraling downwards, but these online resources are available 24/7 and that makes them so useful.

Try creating your own Inspirational First Aid Kit and see if it can help lift your mood next time you are struggling…

H x

Why you need a Desk Altar

Whether you work for yourself from a home office, or for an employer in an open plan space with lots of colleagues, or any environment in between, making room for some special items is a great way to improve your space.

Working from home makes it easy for me to have all of the things that I need on hand to create my very own Desk Altar and it is one of the tasks that I look forward to every Monday morning.

I spend the first few minutes of my working week arranging my altar – adding crystals that I am drawn to for the coming week as well as a bunch of fresh flowers (desk roses are a must in my office!) and drawing a card (or two) to guide me. My altar this week also includes my gorgeous fairy crystal and my NYRO Energy remedy.

Desk Altar

deskroses

Your altar can include any items that you are drawn to – ornaments, photos, crystals, jewellery or even images reminding you of an upcoming holiday. The idea is simply that you spend a few minutes creating a small space and dedicating it to help you during the week. I also burn some incense in my office, but you might not get away with that if you work for someone else!

How does it help?

Many of us spend most of our working lives sat in one place, so making that one space somewhere that makes you feel good is extremely important. You may not be able to change your location, your job or even your desk, but you can add a few items to make that space more appealing and to remind you why you are working there in the first place.

By changing the items on you altar every week you also form a habit of looking forward to the week ahead and this can help you to face any challenges or deadlines that you may have looming – as well as making Monday morning a less dreaded affair! Taking some items from home with you each Monday can start the day with a positive vibe. I also find that it helps me keep on top of my admin and cleaning my office as I want the whole place to look as good as my little altar!

Why not give it a go for a couple of weeks and see what difference it makes to your working life. And if you already have a Desk Altar I would love to see some pictures & hear how it helps you too…

Weekly Words – Are you Following Your Passion?

Signs have a habit of reappearing until you really stop and take notice and my Weekly Words post two months ago was all about it. I always try to pay attention to them and since I ran my first Spirit Guide Workshop last month I have been seeing many signs about something I am doing – about following my passion.

At the workshop, I was speaking about using high vibration crystals to help you connect with your Spirit Guide when my eye was drawn to my large chunk of Obsidian sitting on a shelf on the other side of the room. I mentioned that I have been using that crystal recently, even though I consider it more of a grounding and protection stone. Then all of a sudden it hit me like a bolt from the blue (or rather a big tap on the shoulder from my Spirit Guide) – this volcanic stone is a reminder of my dream to visit Hawaii!!

PeleIt is also associated with the Hawaiian Goddess of Fire, Pele. So, as soon as I got home I found Pele’s card and was drawn to the words: “Be honest with yourself. What is your heart’s true desire.” She calls on us to listen to our dreams and invest time and money in manifesting them.

Then this week, as if to bring the point home once and for all, Doreen Virtue’s weekly card reading started with Pele’s card!

My passion is inspiring and empowering women to build amazing soul-centred businesses and lives, and by building my business around this passion, I am manifesting my own future and know that one day soon I will make it to Hawaii.

We are all being called to follow our Divine Passion; to stop doing what others want us to do or what we think we should be doing, but to find what really excites us and to put our energy and focus in to that. Give yourself permission to go out and achieve what YOU want in this life.

This week: take some time to sit quietly and reflect on your true passions. What is it that you love to do? What would you do if money was not an object? What type of work lifts your spirits and doesn’t actually feel like work at all?

Once you know the answers to these questions you can start to follow your passions and build them in to your daily life – little by little at first if that’s the time you have – but by doing something every day, you will soon look back and realise just how far you have come, and how much you enjoy what you are doing.

Have a wonderful week & let me know what your true passions are… I’d love to know!

H x

Weekly Words – Give Yourself Permission

When I was a kid, just like everyone else I knew, I had to ask permission to do just about anything. Whether it was from my parents, grandparent, teachers, Brownie leaders or other adults in my life, I was always looking up to adults to not only give me permission, but also to give me advice on what I ‘should’ do.

So it probably comes as no surprise that now, as an adult myself, I sometimes struggle with the idea of just doing things for myself and not having to run it past someone else first. It seems strange that I spent the first 20 years of my life (at least) listening to the opinions of everyone else and ignoring my own inner voice.

I was never taught to follow my own intuition, my own inner voice or my own soul’s longing and it has taken me many years to get to a point where I put those first and really pay attention to what is best for me, rather than putting my needs and feelings last.

Does this sound familiar?

I believe that the very first step you can take is to give yourself permission.

PermissionGive yourself permission to discover what really inspires you.

Give yourself permission to follow your dreams.

Give yourself permission to listen to own heart’s longing.

Give yourself permission to be yourself.

Give yourself permission to choose your own path.

So, this week I encourage you to take just a few minutes every day to sit in silence and listen to your soul. Ignore the voices in your head telling you what you can’t do and listen instead to your inner voice telling you what really is possible.

Ask yourself what you want, how you want to feel, what really makes you happy and what inspires you. You could do this first thing in the morning or last thing at night, and write down the messages and feelings that you get.

If you can do this regularly, you will soon see that there is no need to ask permission to be who you are. Celebrate your uniqueness, follow your own path and see how wonderfully freeing it feels.

Have a brilliant week.

H x

Weekly Words – Love Yourself

What an amazing weekend I’ve had! I ran my first Desire Map workshop for five wonderful women – and it was also International Women’s Day on Sunday! We discussed so many feelings and delved deep down into the changes we all want to make in our lives and it was a real coming together of hearts and minds.

I will write a post about the experience soon, but wanted to share some Weekly Words with you straight away that came from our weekend. To finish the workshop I read out a poem that Charlie Chaplin wrote and thought it would make a wonderful reminder for all of us.


As I Began to Love Myself – Self Love Poem by Charlie Chaplin

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time
was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this
person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens
at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in
my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for
my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew
me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude
a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since
I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry
about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING
is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my
mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this
connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing
new worlds are born.Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!


Wise words there & ones that we can all learn from. While we are happy to love and nurture others, we are often not willing or able to love and nurture ourselves through fear of being called selfish or because we simply do not know how. We are raised to put the needs of others first and often forget that we are responsible for our own happiness too.

So, this week, I challenge you to be kind to yourself. Put your feet up if you feel like it, do something that makes your own heart sing and be unapologetic for putting your needs first for a change.

Now I am off to do just that…

H x

Weekly Words – Believe in Yourself

You are important.
You are incredible.
You are loved.
Your presence is needed here.
You are worthy of your desires.
~ Danielle LaPorte – The Desire Map

You are worthy of your desires.

I have this quotation stuck on the wall above my computer and it is fitting that I should share it with you today as I am preparing for my very first Desire Map Workshop this weekend. Sometimes I look at it and fully believe in myself and other times when I am not so sure this reminds me to.

We all have times when we feel unimportant, unloved or even just unsupported in our lives. Having suffered with depression myself in the past this is an all too common feeling for me, and one that I constantly battle against returning. At the moment I am winning (and have been for a good few years now) and it is quotations like this one that help remind me that I am important, incredible, loved and worthy of my desires. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have a wobble every now and again, but on the whole I look at myself and know that I am worth my space here on Earth.

The thing is, the more you believe in yourself and act in ways that reinforces that belief, the more your confidence improves and the more it becomes part of your everyday reality.

Like Attracts Like

In fact, the more I do this work, the more good comes to me. But I couldn’t do it alone. The single best thing you can do to attract more positivity and support into your life is to surround yourself with people who truly believe in you – not those who bring you down. It can be hard to begin with, but getting yourself out and meeting people who share your interests or passions is one of the best ways I know to improve your own self-belief, self-confidence and self-esteem. The more you talk to people, the more you will realise that they all have their own fears and wobbles about whether they are ‘good enough’.

So this week I am challenging you to do one thing that helps you attract more positivity into your life. It could be making a commitment to a healthy lifestyle, following a passion that you have put off for some reason or even catching up with a friend who makes you feel amazing. Whatever it is, don’t just do it once – make the effort to schedule it in regularly and you will soon see the difference it makes to your own self-belief.

Have an amazing week,

H x